Pink Ochre Magazine

​I know you like the pin and needles in my legs after a long time in someone else's car;

I know you like the darkness I see before I go to sleep each night;

I ask myself to come to my full power of memory again,

and there you are in the left corner.

 

reasoning and childhood layers come unpeeled after not so long,

this sudden night tears with the pressure of the distance,

I just want to make you happy at the end of the day,

no matter how much pain it causes me. 

 

no matter how much cognitive reasoning I know,

I see you with the same angelic aura surrounding you,

the idea of you represents the same thing;

your name still lands with the same softness on my tongue. 

 

I want to go back to my old house and rip up all of the pictures,

I want to curse you out in the living room,

I want to stop talking to my siblings and destroy the family name,

I don't want to sit with the complexity and tell everyone how evil you are. 

 

I want to snap the magnet and all of our fucking contact,

I want to block you on my phone,

I want to only talk to you about topics that would make you mad,

I want to steal every last bit of your dignity, 

I want to-

 

I want to say how much I hate you and what you've done to me,

I don't want to sit in the complexity and the floss sugar that is still sticky on the back of my hands,

I want to do what everyone says I should fucking do,

I want to follow the guidelines that others have set up.

 

I want to rip up all of the pictures and shatter the frames,

I want to curse you out and then block all contact,

I want to halter the complexity and-

 

I know you like the pin and needles in my legs after a long time in someone else's car,

I know you like the pin and needles in my legs after a long time in someone else's car;

I know you like the pin and needles in my legs after a long time in someone else's car.